Two Days Without Computers and Holding

Tender Offers has played second fiddle to more important things this week.  I have totally forgotten that i am an author.  If the truth be told, the only attention I’ve paid to my books is to put them in a box — somewhere.  I am moving my law offices.  After forty years of practicing law I am over-whelmed by the stuff I have accumulated and the memories I’ve associated with the stuff that make it difficult to get rid of the stuff.

Moving day is never fun!  It is hard work with equal parts physical labor and psychological trauma.  Change is never easy, but I find as I get older, change of any description is more difficult to accept with excited expectations.  It is more likely to be meant with the realization of a bevy of new aches and pains, and unanticipated glitches and complications.  That is the reality, and that is why most sane people do not like to even think about moving.  But, I discovered a totally new and unexpected reason never to want to move again–No computers!  For two whole days, I have been without my computer and–gasp!– without an internet connection.  I must say that this withdrawal is disturbing — at least it has been for me.

That caused me to start thinking.  Unlike the millennium generation, I lived most of my life without computers–and yes, Virginia, there was life then, and it wasn’t in caves either. Believe it or not, we thought we were happy.  I am old enough to remember the introduction of television.  When I was a child the television was just coming into its own.  We were so excited to have our own TV set in our home that we sat up just watching the test pattern. For those of you not old enough to remember, the test pattern was shown when the television went off the air for the day, usually at mid-night.  Going off the air for the day was always preceded by the National Anthem usually by the Marine Corps.  There were three stations then and all three signed off for the day leaving the screen blank except for a circle with the station’s call letters flickering in shades of gray and white.  ‘That’s it folks’ was the order of the day.  There was no such thing as a computer–well, maybe that is not entirely correct. They were just starting to be developed.  They took up whole buildings and were in the hands of the government. No one ever thought that one day they might be in everyone’s pocket.

Life was different then,  There was no virtual reality.  We all had to deal with reality as we knew it, and it wasn’t always easy.   There was no instant news.  If you wanted to know what was going on, you read a newspaper or listened to the radio.  The radio and the movies were the source of entertainment.  A whole Saturday matinee cost ten cents and there were two or three features.  No one chased you out when it was over.  You could stay and watch it all over again.

I don’t know why moving forces me to reminisce, but it must be because of all the memories that are evoked  as part if the traumatic aspect.  It is always easy to look back and think that yesterday was part of the ‘good old days’.  I might have been very willing to go there if the stark reality of loss of my virtual world hadn’t hit with such forceful impact.  Going two whole days without the internet!  is this what withdrawal is all about?  Utter and absolute devastation is the only way to describe it.

What would I do?  What would any of us do without  our computers?  Without the internet? How different our worlds would be.  No, I for one do not wish to return to the good old days. Give me today, with my internet, my news and even my newly found social media.  That with a glass of wine will get me though the trauma of today’s world, even if I do have to move again.

Is Anyone Really Out There?

I have to wonder, is there really anyone out there? Are we all so disconnected from each other that we have become nothing more than Avatars living our lives in our own subjective reality. I do remember a time when our connections were made in person or on telephone. There was always something special about a warm handshake or a cherry, “How ya doing?” You worked harder on being a friend, then. Relationships were important. We were politer then—more concerned about how we dealt with other people.  When did that all change? When did we stop speaking in complete sentences?  When did it become acceptable behavior to be rude?  When did this new form of social interaction take over to condemn us to isolation?

About a year ago, I ventured into the world of social media. My publisher said, “It’s how you promote your book. Get with the program!”  “Really?” I said, absolutely innocent of the ways of modern social interaction. “Well, how hard can that be?” I asked naively. “Try it, you’ll love it,”  was the texted reply.

So off I went to the world of Facebook, and LinkedIn, Google and all the rest. Now, I even Tweet for fun and profit. I learned to blog and to capture my thoughts in essays that no one ever reads. But, then that’s not entirely true, every once and a while someone will comment on something I wrote, so I know that people actually do read my simple words. (Very few admittedly, but enough to keep me writing.)

However, this whole social media thing got me thinking. Sure it’s fun, but it does not and cannot come close to the connectivity that comes from real person to person contact. Don’t get me wrong. I love hearing from people that I haven’t heard from in ages even if it is the Facebook “poke” thing. (Does anyone but me ever wonder how a poke could be a kind and caring act?) No matter. Yes, it is grand to hear from long lost acquaintances, but that feeling cannot compare with the sound of a live human voice in an an unexpected phone call or the loving touch of a person right there next to you—a person that you can see, hear, smell and feel.

Everywhere I go I see youngsters sitting at a table in total silence while he or she engages in a texted conversation with a person across the table.  In meetings, in school, in church—everywhere people are texting out into the great cyber world of uncaring eyes. I have to view that as the epitome of a Greek tragedy.  It is much ado about nothing as the Bard would say. All the while the real world spills forth opportunities for life, love, and adventure—all missed because we are so absorbed in our alternative reality.

The saddest part is that our virtual world brings an anonymity which some people use to spill their venom and write things for release to the internet that they would never say in person. Our disconnection breeds a loneliness that isolates completely.

Does this mean I intend to stop the social media? Of course not.  I truly love it.  But, I can’t help looking back and remembering a simpler time–a time when people were more connected.  I am writing about it because I am afraid that it will be forgotten as we enter our brave new world of technology.

Encouraging Words

I keep hearing nice things about my books. It is what keeps me going. Many days it is just easier to slip into my normal role as an attorney and ignore the angst, uncertainty and hard work that goes with this author bit. Surprisingly, some days, I find that it hard to write even the most routine things—something I always loved to do. I look for and find excuses—any excuse—not to write. I don’t know why, it just is. I know the lawyer part—it is second nature to me now. It is easy. But, this author gig, it really is hard work.

Just when it all seems to be for naught, something unexpectedly happens. Someone will send a kind word, or say something to me or leave a glowing review at Amazon. My day brightens and I can get back to writing. Here are a few of the really nice reviews people have written about Tender Offers:

“You have now joined the ranks of those few authors whose books you can’t put down and whose stories you never want to end. (I do hope there’s going to be a sequel.)
With each page I read, I was more and more impressed with the authenticity of dialogue, descriptive background (amazing detail!), and situational analysis. Your character development is excellent and very believable.” CB

“Having worked for the senior partner at the world’s largest law firm (Baker & McKenzie), I know legal-speak, and how attorneys act and work to get the best accomplished for their clients. It doesn’t matter where this story is located ~ the theme is pertinent to anyone who may deal with attorneys, especially when it comes to their career. Author Russell has put together a story of personalities that the reader can relate to at several levels ~ the most important for any book being the emotional and professional levels. As the reader goes on this journey of understanding the machinations of behind-the-scenes, they may find themselves with a new-found knowledge of the legal world, which will only benefit them in the future. Along with learning about how attorneys think, act, and work ~ the reader is taken along a journey that is interesting, fun, and impossible to put down. Two thumbs up!” PW

“Crystal Russell you are a spellbinding author. I am half way through your book and would stay up all night to finish it if I didn’t have to go to the office tomorrow. I sure hope you are working on book #3!!!” JM

It isn’t so much that the reviews are so glowing—of course, I love that. Yes, I want people to like my books. The real significance is that kind words were written and I felt enveloped in generous thoughts. These kind words keep me going, and make this whole writing thing worthwhile. It made me realize how lucky I am to have someone actually read my books and then take the time to write their thoughts. What an act of kindness.

I am an avid reader—always have been—averaging two to three books a month. I can’t remember all the books that I’ve read through the years, but there have been many. I read books of every genre, fiction, history, biography, politics—literally books of every kind and description. Some have been good and some have been great, but I never rated any. I am ashamed to admit that I never sent a note to the author to let him or her know how much I appreciated the book. Now, I think about the whole thing differently. I no longer just read for my own enjoyment. I really try to at least acknowledge the effort and leave a review.

I guess this is another of life’s lessons (just when I thought that I had gained all the wisdom that age can bestow). The reality is that we all are interconnected. A happy thought is like a baby’s laughter—contagious–and it spreads loving thoughts and happiness. A rude or mean thought generates unhappiness, and it too is spread.

Our computer age gives us anonymity to hide behind the screen of an unseeing eye and be just as mean as we want to be. Wouldn’t it be lovely if everyone just spread kind and loving thoughts? What would things be like if everyone just skipped the rude remarks? I can dream, can’t I?

New Videos

Well, the brand new videos for Book Two have been released.  Outside of my looking really old, ‘they will pass in the dark’ as my mother used to say.  There definitely is not a viral one in the bunch, but they are fun in a way if you are desperate for entertainment, and like to poke a laughing finger and giggle at me playing Gramma Mosses, again.  Fine, have a laugh on me.  Glad to be of service. Do you feel better?  I hope so, because now, I have to know—“Am I getting better at this video thing?”  Improvement is such a nebulous thing that I don’t know if I see it in the progression between the videos for Book One and the new ones for Book Two.  You tell me—should I stick with the things I know and feel comfortable doing? Before you answer, remember that most ‘seniors’ (I tried to the think of a different word for ‘senior’ but ‘old’ or ‘retired’ or ‘elderly’ wouldn’t cut it and other words just wouldn’t come) don’t try new things.  As one ages, the fear of failure is so overwhelming that it really is harder and harder to do new things.  It is really a shame too, because the fear of failure keeps you from experiencing success as well as failure.  So, mindlessly, I keep rushing in where others fear to go, just because that is what I have always done.  Have there been failures?  Sure, but even failures have been learning experiences and allowed me to grow and change and become better and more accomplished. I don’t know why we become less likely to take chances as we age.  Is it because we are more content in our lives and really don’t want new experiences?  I hope that isn’t the case.  New experiences are the spice of life.  They keep me reaching and trying and yes, living. My first book has been an experience.  If I hadn’t taken the chance and written it, there are numerous people that I would never have met.  I would have missed re-contact with friends of years past.  Then too, I would have missed all these new and exciting ventures into Social Media with the posts and sharing.  I never would have experienced the thrill of my first royalty check. So I get down to the basics—do I care if I look old?  Heck no.  I am old!  Age has nothing to do with making a video.  Now, I’ve made 6 of them.  Bring the next challenge. Okay, is there any improvement?  How can I make the next one better?